The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday

Early today morning at around 0130 hrs I deleted my Facebook account of more than 3 years .

It was once hijacked by some rogue element and deleted in 2009 and then I had to re-build it from scratch, adding one friend at a time painfully.

On last count I had 379 friends on my time-line and another 10 odd or so whom I had blocked, so in all I guess you can say about 390 friends.

And many of those friends were there on my time-line after a long and hard search by me over a period of time.

They were my school friends (I am 34 years old), college friends, my ex-colleagues etc whom I used to miss a lot, once after getting dis-connected [ In the Facebook lingo] .

So what happened after-all?

I have been trying to get my StartUp up and running since last 17 months and I guess what happened yesterday is the culmination of the realisation of these 17 months-:

1. At one point of time when you are all alone and fighting a hard battle, just being “CONNECTED” physically on a platform becomes meaningless. You want to get “CONNECTED” to people who share your thoughts, actions, vision blah-blah. Since none of my friends over there were StartUp founders, I started developing a “CONNECTION” crisis with them.

I just could not just seem to be “CONNECTED” with them.

2. Over the past 17 months both myself and my friends have been very “OPEN” about what we have been doing in our lives.

So I would post about my battle to learn programming, testing the MVP in the market successfully, comments on some of the latest happenings in the tech/startup scene around the world.

And in response to being mine being “OPEN” about my life, they would post about their trip to the movie theatre, trip to the 5-Star restaurant to have dinner with friends, attending rock concerts, travelling abroad, celebrating their kids birthdays, buying new cars and etc etc.

I just came to realise that ,over a period of time we have just lost interest about how “OPEN” we are about our lives.

For me what they were doing was “Bull-Shit” and for them what I was doing was probably even worse, “Chicken-Shit”.

The mutual “OPEN-NESS” of our lives did not matter to either of us…

We just could not identify with each other’s “OPEN-NESS”.

3. Being the founder of a web StartUp, I was connected to internet all my “OPEN-EYES” hours, which were quite long everyday.

My “SOCIAL” interaction got limited to “LIKING” some hilarious status-updates, cute pics of my friends kids, and wondering how can someone watch such stupid videos and “LIKE” them.

Specially those videos forced me to think a lot about certain people, how they have changed over a period of time and what the heck is wrong with them [And I presume very “OPENLY” that thats what they thought about me too], I just became “SOCIAL-LESS” with them [And they became “SOCIAL-LESS” with me too].

Since I was being more and more “SOCIAL” on Facebook, my Life sucked as I dont have any friends in this city [apart from those related to my work] I moved six months back to save money.

In this presumption that I am already “CONNECTED” and “OPEN” to so many people, I never even tried making new friends in this new city.

4. There are certain people with whom I really wanted to be “OPEN” and “CONNECTED” and I am sure its the same with them but, sadly they were not so active on Facebook.

 I never bothered to call them or even write an email to them , though I was online always.

I was getting “CLOSED” and “DIS-CONNECTED” with the people with whom I really wanted to be “OPEN” and “CONNECTED”.

5. And last, all these “OPEN” and “CONNECTED” people were of no help to what I was trying to do.

They have different ideas about how the life should run and I had other and inspite of being so “OPEN” and “CONNECTED” to each other, our thoughts never matched and crosses each other’s path.

I posted more than a couple of times seeking introductions to technical people for my StartUp but of no avail. During several of my “SOCIAL” interactions/ “CHATS” with so many people, I mentioned this hinderance, but of no avail.

I could not simply “CONNECT”, even after being so “OPEN”.

And off-late I have been getting so much psyched with this question from people who were trying to be “OPEN” with me- “How’s your business doing dude?”

I mean WTF…

Time to get “OPEN” and “CONNECTED” again…